


Ste Yuj, Heda (Leading Takes More then Just a Swing of a Sword)

by TuxedoBird



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 3x07 divergent, F/F, because Heda is more then just a warrior, but a leader in every way, but sort of is, not really a 'fix it' fic, political porn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-05-31 04:59:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6456907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TuxedoBird/pseuds/TuxedoBird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa didn't even have to look to see the coy grin on Clarke's face as the blonde carefully grasped at her arms to help guide her from the podium. Recovering was going to be a process but she was going to be fine. <em>They</em> where going to be fine. Everything was going to work out between the Grounders and those of Skaikru. Even if she had to drag every last one of them to peace kicking and screaming.</p><p>Because she was <em>Heda.</em></p><p>And her fight was not over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Know when, and when not to show weakness

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a penguin typing with flippers, so I take all credit/blame for any and all typos, grammar, etc. Also know that the rating will remain M for the overall content of the story. You know, for all those pesky F-bomb slurs, typical 100 violence, and implied sexy times.
> 
> Oh and this is forever in Lexa's POV. Cause I find her a fun little challenge to write.

Absentmindedly Lexa reached to itch at the spot just beneath her breast bone but caught herself before she truly did so. The combination of stitches and coarse threaded bandages beneath her Commanders regalia were beginning to become unbearable which was a sure sign that she would have to seek out Clarke later to have them replaced. After she survived the dull gathering of ambassadors before her that is.

Two of her ambassadors were gently (though not quietly) discussing the matter and repercussions of Heda's latest decision of blood must not have blood. Subtly she looked towards Titus who stood at her side, just within her peripheral as always, then to Clarke were her green eyes lingered for a second longer then perhaps needed. Again Lexa fought the urge to itch at the bullet hole in her chest, managing instead to force her fingers to remain idle upon the buckle to her shoulder guard.

 _If blood must truly have blood,_ she thought dryly, _then I would not have a Fleimkepa._

After having been put on (forced) bed rest to recover from the gun wound Titus placed upon her, it was difficult enough to try and explain the reasoning for her absence from her subjects since giving the order for the blockade. By rights as Heda, she should be out there with her people, sitting straight backed and proud atop her horse as she watched Skaikru come to heel. To make sure that this _Pyke_ knelt in the blood-turned mud of the 300 that he had slaughtered, and made sure that he felt every one of those lost lives as he suffered the Death of a Thousand Cuts for her people will not, nor would not, settle for any lesser punishment.

No. Instead, she had to hide her injury, cover up the flame keepers mistake of a poorly planned scheme, put on her stoic mask as Heda, and pretend that she was not wounded. That she was in fact in perfect health, and that she remained in Polis under the guise of settling the hearts and minds of her ambassadors over her rulings. It wasn't a difficult task by any means. But with a wound as severe as hers was, Lexa was beginning to have a new respect for Indra, whom had somehow managed to remain mobile and coherent after having suffered (and is still suffering from) similar wounds. Two of them, in fact.

An ice cold shiver ran up her spine and it was all she could do to grip the armrests of her chair in time to keep her head up and not slump forward suddenly. From the corner of her eye Lexa could spot Clarke's attention turn towards her from her own seat amongst the other ambassadors, blue eyes narrowing ever so slightly with hidden concern. Lexa made to stand but didn't manage anything more then scooting closer to the edge of her throne, her legs feeling as if they were like unsteady logs and that if she did stand, she feared she'd fall face first. _Heda_ does not fall.

Holding up one slender hand instead she silenced the chamber with the simple gesture before speaking in a voice and tone that somehow eluded more of an annoyed authority rather than pain. Small miracles, she guesses.

"If we are to act as if going to war is easier than peace, then should we not try and achieve the more difficult goal?" She repeated the very same words she had spoken to Indra and was pleased to see at least a few of their heads bow in guilt.

Before any of the ambassadors could turn upon the only Skaikru member in the chamber and openly object however, (since she knew there would be a few if given the chance) she continued in a more clipped tone, "The sky is no longer their home, nor can they return so easily. They will learn the way of the ground. Our ways. For they must if they wish to survive. If they do not come to realize this through the blockade, then they will learn when they crumble beneath the pride of their elected leader. "

It took most of her willpower to not look at the gorgeous blonde as she spoke, and even more of her strength and concentration to stand without swaying so that she could dismiss the room with a simple gesture when no argument could be made against her. Not like there would be one. She was _Heda_ after all. Her words were final. Naturally Clarke stayed behind and Titus was at her elbow almost immediately when the last of the ambassadors shuffled out.

"Heda," the flamekeepers voice was quiet, gentle, cautious. _He still feels the weight of pulling the trigger,_ she thought. Before Titus could continue Clarke was at the edge of the thrones podium, interrupting or perhaps even finishing his sentence, "Lexa you're pale. You need to sit down and rest." Suddenly she felt both of their hands on either of her arms, guiding and easing her back down onto her throne.

Why was she so exhausted all of sudden? She didn't want to think much of it, though rest did sound tempting despite it being practically the only thing she did over the past few days. Without realizing it, she slumped back into the intricate wood work of her throne, reaching to hold her head lightly with the tips of her fingers from one hand and closed her eyes.

_There was a commotion outside the room but more importantly, she had heard Clarke, heard a shout of rage, and the distinct sound of a Skaikru weapon. Lexa had to see what was happening, had to know if Clarke was alright. She burst through the door just to be greeted by something solid striking her lower sternum. In that instant, everything seemed to slow to a snails pace, and her hearing was as if her head was underwater. Lexa looked down, in that same sluggish manner in which everything seemed to move, and saw her own blood seeping through her shirt. Suddenly she felt cold and could not stand._

_Vaguely she could feel strong arms wrap around her as her legs gave out, the feeling of being carried and then set back down upon soft blankets. It was all a blur to her. She didn't even remember passing out._

_When Lexa woke, it was to the most beautiful face she could think to see. She was tucked beneath the furs of her bed,_ their bed, _she mused gently, with her head resting just beside Clarke's thigh as the blonde sat against the headboard. When the other woman noticed Lexa's eyes open she immediately gave the biggest smile and reached out to gently caress away imaginary stray locks of hair from her face._

_Lexa's head still felt foggy and muddled but the look of pure exhausted relief in the sky girls blue eyes did not go unnoticed. "What happened?" She swallowed thickly when she didn't recognize her own strained voice. She suddenly realized that everything hurt, but she was Heda, and therefore she fought the urge to squirm beneath the covers. At least that is what she told herself. In truth she did not want to worry Clarke anymore then the blonde already was, if her tear-stained cheeks and puffy sleep deprived eyes were anything to go by._

_Clarke quietly shushed her with a smile and laid a hand against her cheek, tenderly pressing Lexa's head against her thigh in comforting affection as she caressed small circles just under Lexa's jawline. "Its alright." the blonde spoke. "You're alright. The bullet didn't go deep. A bad round of powder probably.." Clarke's voice almost broke and though she tried to turn her head to hide that fact, Lexa had still caught it._

_She reached up to place her hand over the one that Clarke held against her, only mildly aware that her very limbs moved like pudding, smiling up at the blonde in hopeful reassurance as she saw Clarke look back down to her with her own soft smile. Lexa wanted to speak but her throat couldn't seem to obey her through her injured haze. Fortunately Clarke seemed content without words, bending awkwardly from her position against the headboard to place a sloppy but affectionate kiss against her nose._

_"Your fight is_ not _over." the blonde said, the words firm and challenging as if she'd fight anyone who even _dared_ try to prove her wrong._

_Before sleep called to her, Lexa smiled once more. "Sha, hodnes. Ai laik hir." she remembered herself saying before closing her eyes to rest once more._

Green eyes flitted open as she looked between her fingers towards Titus and Clarke who were having some sort of hushed argument in front of her. _Literally_ in front of her. She could reach out and shove them if she so wanted, but Lexa found herself straining to make out their words and was disappointed at her state of health when she could not. If she was having this much trouble focusing her attention on things right in front of herself, then perhaps resting truly was the best course of action.

"Enough." She bit out the one word, lowering her hand to the armrest to make as if to stand but held off for the moment. Raising her voice at the two had unexpectedly made her head spin. "Titus, please see to the natblidas this evening. Let them know that I am not feeling well enough to attend to their teachings."

The flame keeper turned to face her fully, his hands clasped before himself as he dipped his head. "Heda, if others learn of your condition-" Lexa held up a hand to cut him off. Light headed or not, she suddenly didn't have the patience to be argued with.

"Politics of the Clans _dictates_ I show no pain. I will not lie to them," she made a quick sweeping gesture towards the door as if the young nightbloods in question were just outside. "To be a Commander they must learn when and when not to show weakness before others, just as you have taught me. Teach them thus. They will understand." Lexa ended her words with a softness that left Titus bowing his head once more, a quiet reply of 'sha, Heda' leaving his lips before he dismissed himself from the chamber.

As the only other remaining person in the room, Lexa was not surprised to feel the weight of Clarke's hand rest atop her own, gathering up her fingers and giving them a tight squeeze. The gesture brought a gentle smile to her lips, letting her mask of Heda fall so that she could be just Lexa in front of her sky girl.

"Will you join me?" she spoke almost shyly. Had Clarke been anyone else, Lexa would have mentally berated herself for how she sounded. But this was Clarke. _Her_ Clarke. The very blonde that somehow snuck through her own defenses to claim her attention as well as her heart. So therefore in this very moment, with just the two of them within the room, Lexa was allowed to be herself and therefore did not care how she sounded.

Clarke leaned in close to place a chaste kiss upon her temple, pulling away to rest their foreheads together with a gentle nod. "You were pretty out of it during the meeting. How are you feeling?" Lexa could only smile softly as she closed her eyes and leaned more into Clarke's space. 

The girl was soft and warm and _there_. A blue eyed being of comfort that made her struggle against the allure of falling asleep in the chair while she was standing so close. In place of words she simply squeezed Clarke's hand in return, the gesture a weaker one then when Clarke had done it. It was answer enough for the blonde.

With the utmost care Clarke stepped to the side of the throne to grasp at Lexa's shoulders, gently urging her to stand without actually having to haul her up with any form of force. "Come on. Lets get you to bed."

Lexa didn't even have to look to see the coy grin on Clarke's face as the blonde carefully grasped at her arms to help guide her from the podium. Recovering was going to be a process but she was going to be fine. _They_ where going to be fine. Everything was going to work out between the Grounders and those of Skaikru. Even if she had to drag every last one of them to peace kicking and screaming.

Because she was _Heda._

And her fight was not over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm fairly certain that anyone of Clexa kom Trashkru won't need any translations, but eh, have them anyway:
> 
> Fleimkepa - Flame keeper  
> Pyke - Pike (cause saying names in Trigedasleng is fun)  
> Sha, hodnes. Ai laik hir - yes, love. I am here  
> natblidas - nightbloods  
> sha, Heda - yes, Commander
> 
> I do intend to write more, but I make no promises about being quick about it. Feed me your kudos and comments, good or bad!


	2. Know that food is important

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By rights I should be aasslleeeepp. Penguin's gotta get some rest too ya' know! Alas, I couldn't keep my flippers away from the keyboard. So have at my lovelies! Consider this me, tucking you into bed with a chapter. (or waking you up, which ever time it may be)
> 
> All mistakes are mine. What do you expect when you're typing with no fingers?

Clarke had told her that she should at least try to eat something, to keep her strength up she said. But even while sitting at the head of a table that was laden with a feast, lexa could not bring herself to do so. It was like her appetite was gone, with much of her will to do anything else for that matter. Instead all she wanted to do was sleep. Sleep away the exhaustion that the physical hole in her chest brought her.

Half heartily she picked at the food on her plate, separating the more unsavory greens from the rest and then tossing them from side to side. If there had been others in the dining hall, Lexa assumed that she would at least _try_ to look like she was eating. But instead she was alone, silence hovering around her like a cold blanket that did nothing to fuel her motivation.

She knew Clarke would join her if she asked. She'd even make sure that she ate more then just a few nibbles. An image of the _mighty Wanheda_ hand feeding her as if she were a stubborn child abruptly invaded her thoughts, bringing with it an unexpected but warm smile to Lexa's lips. A smile that was not allowed to last long.

A few raised voices from beyond the dining hall was the only warning she received before the doors opened more forcefully then perhaps warranted. She recognized Titus instantly, her advisor hastily trying to step around another who was doing the most stomping.

Lexa gave them each a pointed stare, her mask as _Heda_ firmly in place with just the barest hint of annoyance within an otherwise stoic expression. _Make them feel as if they're intruding on something they shouldn't._ Leaning back into her chair she inclined her chin in the briefest of motions to acknowledge them. _"Gouva yu klin."_

Titus was the first to meet her gaze as he spoke hastily with that undertone of disapproval that she knew all too well, though this time it was not directed at her but at the other figure who stormed all the way up to hover at the tables opposite end across from her.

"Pardon us Heda, but-" the second man interrupted the flame keeper by slamming two fists onto the table while shouting over him.

"Why does Heda house Skaikru when we were ordered to kill any caught beyond the blockade?"

Lexa raised one slender eyebrow at the man, her previous show of annoyance no longer a ruse but a growing thing. This man was tall with broad shoulders, gleaming bald head, and a face hidden behind a thick braided beard. She recalls his name, she thinks. Stroud, an ambitious thug playing at warrior. One of the first to cheer at the thought of spilling Skaikru blood.

"Is there something you wish to say to me?" She made sure to keep her words crisp with the hint of challenge, yet kept her volume at a conversational level. There was no need for her to raise her voice for she knew he was listening for her words.

To play deliberately into Strouds obvious anger, Lexa calmly picked one of the fruits she was tossing around her plate and plopped it into her mouth to chew on, tilting her head by fractions, _daring_ him to speak. At least now she could truthfully say she ate something.

To her disappointment, Stroud said nothing except pace along his end of the long table as if he were a bear caught in a corner. It was Titus who spoke next.

"Clarke Kom Skaikru resides as both guest and ambassador for her people. She has offered pro-" Once gain Titus was rudely interrupted by Stroud, this time having swept an arm across his end of the table to send both tableware and food clattering to the floor with a strangled roar.

Lexa knew by the tick in the flame keepers jaw that he was losing patience with the other man. As was she, but Lexa was still silently absorbing the fact that Titus was _defending_ Clarke. Just the thought that both he and Clarke perhaps reached some level of camaraderie after her near death experience comforted a part of her that she didn't know needed comforting.

"Do not interrupt again." she said, as she slowly picked up her steak knife to balance the blade on its point against the table, leveling a glare that warned caution towards the man. THAT seemed to get the brutes attention as he stopped his pacing. Without breaking her gaze she could see two of her guards lingering in the doorway, ready to intervene at her signal.

Once she was sure Stroud wasn't going to throw another tantrum she flicked her gaze towards Titus and nodded for him to continue. She was burning to know what her advisor was going to say, not that anyone would be able to tell by looking at her with her stoic expression firmly in place.

When Titus began speaking again he did so with a noticeable bite, "Wanheda has offered proof that the faults of Skaikru lie solely within their current leader. And with her spending so much of her time away from Arkadia to be within the capitol, allowing her to return with such a leader in place gives risk to us all."

Lexa was hard fought to keep her face neutral when she was, in truth, extremely proud of Titus. _Remind him of the power of Wanheda and what that power could mean in the wrong hands._ However she could not truly shake off the slight frown that tugged at her lips. A short sighted idiot like Stroud could easily misconstrue that Clarke was her prisoner from those words. _Clarke is no ones prisoner_ , She thought.

A snort from Stroud brought her attention back to the conversation. "And what of the other _Skayon_?"

 _Ah.._ She had almost forgotten about the boy Murphy. He had remained in Polis after the shooting at Clarkes request, as well as of his own accord. The last time Lexa recalled seeing him however was a day or two after the incident. While she was laying in bed resting, Clarke was diligently trying to teach Murphy the basics of Trigedasleng, while Murphy was diligently making a joke of it.

"I have taken him as my apprentice."

 _Sei nodotaim?_ Before Lexa could even turn her head to look towards Titus to make sure that she had, in fact, heard him correctly, Stroud turned to look at her so fast that it almost seemed that he could have broken his own neck. A wide-eyed glare practically bellowing his unspoken question, 'You allowed this?' Even the two guards standing by the door seemed mildly taken aback by the news.

To mask her surprise, she reached for another slice of food from her plate as she simply shrugged like this wasn't news to her ( _Jok_ how it was though!) and that Titus choosing Murphy as his apprentice was the most natural thing ever. "Only a _Fleimkepa_ can choose who replaces them." However true the statement was, Lexa didn't let the words linger in the air for long before gesturing for her guards to escort Stroud from the dining hall. He pushed at them a few times when they reached for him, but otherwise the brute went quietly.

As the doors closed behind them Lexa let her stern mask as _heda_ fall as she looked at her plate, finally giving up on the notion of food and shoved her plate away, slumping back within her chair to cover her eyes with one hand. She suddenly felt completely drained and the rumble in her stomach (she didn't much care if it was from either her wound or from hunger, some days it was hard to tell which it was) didn't help.

A minute or two of nothing but silence ticked by before the sound of her plate being pushed back in front of her made her open her eyes. Titus had not left and was refilling her plate with some of the smaller servings of meat, cheese, and bread. She didn't say anything, though she did wish to know if what he had said about Murphy was true, but ultimately decided to save that for another time. Instead she simply watched him closely, quietly.

After filling a cup with water and placing that within her reach as well, Titus folded his hands behind his back to look at her, his usually neutral expression molding into something gentler. "Eat." He said softly, gesturing towards the plate with a nod of his head. Lexa could have sworn she saw him give the smallest of smiles before he dismissed himself from the room.

Ever since the shooting it was either Clarke or Titus shadowing her, constantly checking on her well being, and never far from at least one or both. She didn't mind it too much, Titus knew from his years of experience with previous Commanders when, and when not to get involved with her affairs while Clarke.. well Clarke was Clarke, and she loved her for it.

Her fingers unconsciously reached for her sternum were the bullet wound lay. By rights, her fight should have been over but Wanheda, the Commander of Death, said otherwise. Smiling to herself, Lexa began to eat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> gouva yu klin - explain yourself  
> Skayon - Sky person  
> sei nodotaim - say again  
> Jok - fuck (hey look, a pesky f-bomb, grounder style!)
> 
> Feed me your kudos and thoughts!


	3. Know to take it one step at a time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FACT: Sternum injuries SUCK!
> 
> *ahem* Tried to make this chapter longer, but Clexa demanded it went and ended the way it did. So have at lovelies! Mistakes are mine.
> 
> (Buckle up for some political stuff next chapter!)

Having a room at the top of the tower never once bothered her, not even on the days when it felt like a mountain had attached itself to her shoulders. But she looked to those days like it was one of Titus's many metaphorical teachings when she was but a young _natblida._ Each step like an unavoidable challenge against her leadership while whatever weighed her down was the obstacle that would try and keep her from her goal, only the strength of her will seeing her through to the top. Today was one of those days.

And so, with an exasperated huff, Lexa stubbornly climbed the few more steps needed to reach the final floor, cursing every. Step. Along. The. Way.

 

_"Lexa, it's hardly been a week. You need more time to heal." Clarke's concerned words insistently carried across the room as she was (struggling) to get dressed. As she snapped the buckle of her shoulder guard into place, Lexa had to bite down hard on her bottom lip to keep from letting out an audible hiss of pain, partially glad for the wardrobes partition that hid her from the blondes view so that she didn't see the look of pain that crossed her face._

_"I know." she replies after a moment to compose herself, stepping out into the other girls view. "But being kept in my chambers without an explanation will raise unwanted concern."_

_"Then tell them you're injured. You won't be able to hide it, not well. Not for long." Clarke stepped closer to close the gap between them and Lexa could clearly see all the worry within the other girls beautiful features._

_Without giving it much thought she placed a hand on Clarke's cheek to draw the blonde in even closer so that she could rest their foreheads together. "You know I can't say that. Not without them thinking that one of your people are here as an assassin."_

_She couldn't help the small smile that formed when Clarke sighed angrily. She knew her sky girl was already trying to think of words to say yet finding none that would keep her here._

_"Just.. Promise to take it easy. Ok?"_

_To that, Lexa nodded gently. "I will."_

 

Reaching the top (finally!) Lexa leaned heavily against the wall, clutching at her chest delicately as she sucked in large breaths. To say she felt dizzy didn't even _begin_ to describe how her head felt at that moment, so she continued to cling to the wall for support as she started down the short hallway to her chambers.

_Clarke was right to say that this would be difficult. Jok!_

A strangled sob of both pain and relief escaped unbidden from her lips as she reached for the double doors to her bed chambers, twisting the handle and collapsing against them to gain entrance. She was certain she would have fallen to the floor too if it wasn't for a certain flash of blue garments attached to a mane of blonde hair rushing to catch her.

"Easy. Eassyy. I got you."

Lexa closed her eyes to Clarke's voice, a sense of comfort and safety washing over her as she was gently lowered all the way to the floor. Vaguely she was aware of Clarke's hands quickly seeking out buckles and straps, undoing each and shoving both fabric and chain mail aside until there was no more pressure against her chest save for the bandages she wore. She took a few more deep breathes and almost whimpered in joy at how much easier it was to do so.

Opening her eyes, green met blue and Lexa smiled weakly. Clarke smiled down at her in return, almost looking smug as she held Lexa's head in her hands to rub soothing circles into her cheeks. "I told you to take it easy."

Lexa could only manage a brief nod, content to just lay on the floor were she was being held against Clarke. All things considered, she _had_ taken it 'easy'. She overlooked the nightbloods morning training rituals, attended the (albeit pointless but yet overtly long) meeting with her ambassadors, took a nap at Clarke's request, ate dinner thanks to Titus despite the interruption of the brute Stroud, and even managed to send out a few orders to her generals overseeing the blockade.

For _Heda_ , that sort of schedule could have been compared to sleeping the whole day away. Yet here she was, laying on the floor out of breath, mildly dizzy, and in so, _so much_ pain like if she had ran a mile and fought a war all by herself.

With Clarke opening up her robes the pain went from feeling like a torrent of acid fog in her lungs, to someone as big as Gustus putting their full weight into rubbing uncomfortable circles between her breasts. Not the greatest of improvements, but at least it was something she could tolerate (if barely).

The silence between them stretched on for a few more comfortable minutes with Lexa closing her eyes to sink into the warmth of Clarke's lap. When the blonde shifted beneath her head she spoke without opening her eyes, knowing that her sky girl had something on her mind. " _Sei chit ste ona yu hod daun, ai na sen yu in fig raun hodnes._ "

Lexa fought the urge to shiver when she felt Clarke's hands slide down her neck to rest tenderly on her shoulders, feeling rather then hearing the quiet chuckle that came from the blonde when she failed in her efforts. "I was just thinking you'd be more comfortable on the bed then the floor."

Still with her eyes closed, she gave a pleasant hum in response. Moving to the bed was indeed a tempting thought. But it was all the way over _there_ and she was _here_ , already oh so comfortable in Clarke's partial embrace. Eventually the hard floor made up her mind for her, so she simply nodded.

Getting to her feet was more complicated then it should have been, but with her chest feeling like it was inflamed, any sort of bending or abdominal movement only aggravated her pain further. But she was stubborn, persistent even. Plus she had Clarke with her. After what felt like forever, she found her footing and was led to sit on the edge of the bed with Clarke helping her shed the rest of her outfit until she was in nothing but pants and her chest wrap.

Clarke left her on the bed for a moment, undoubtedly to find a water basin and cloth. This had become something of a nightly ritual between the two since the shooting. Lexa would prepare for sleep as best she could, either sitting upright like she was now or leaning against a support of pillows while Clarke washed her skin and changed her bandages. Lexa found that It was strangely comforting in its own domestic sort of way, and didn't mind it one bit.

When the blonde returned, bowl of water balanced on her hip and a wash cloth slung over her shoulder, Lexa closed her eyes with the smallest of smiles. She knew Clarke would have to remove the bandages so that they could be replaced and the area around the wound itself cleaned, yet she still could not stop the shy embarrassment that always crept up along her neck and ears at the thought of being exposed, undoubtedly leaving her skin feeling warm and flushed every time. But she trusted Clarke with everything that made her _Lexa_ , and knew that her sky girl wouldn't do anything without first seeking consent.

The beds weight shifted as she felt Clarke sit beside her. She knew without looking that the blonde was facing her, as she usually did before she pressed the lukewarm washcloth to her skin. The feeling was blissful and she allowed herself to fall into a trance as Clarke's careful hands roamed her arms, shoulders, neck, and lower back, washing all of the days grime away while also offering a pleasant distraction from the dull throb that was her chest. The only thing that broke Lexa out of her reverie was when Clarke began to carefully unwind her chest bindings. The blush she had felt earlier immediately returned with some force, causing her to swallow thickly.

She kept her gaze focused on Clarke so that she wouldn't dwell on the fact that she was topless and shy about it in front of her sky girl. She took note of how the blonde always looked focused on what she was doing, but still admired at what her blue eyes saw. How her hands moved with chivalrous purpose, yet somehow remained gentle like a lover's touch. How whenever she winced when the cloth passed over her stitches the blonde would always speak a soothing apology. Her favorite of all during these moments was when after a fresh set of bandages were applied Clarke would take up position just behind her, wrapping strong protective arms around her middle to hold her close and tuck them both in for the night.

It was how they rested now, Lexa's head slightly turned so that she was nestled comfortably within the space just beneath Clarke's chin.

But as perfect and comfortable as the moment was, her mind kept racing back to one thought. A thought that needed an answer before sleep would be able to find her. "Did Titus really take Murphy as his apprentice?"

The soft laugh of words she felt from Clarke's chest did warm things to her own.

"You missed the look he gave Titus when he proposed the idea." Before she could inquire further into what sort of look Murphy could have given (though she had a few ideas) Clarke continued, a little more sombrely then before but she could still feel a smile in her words, "Titus said it would be something that you would have wanted."

Lexa blinked slowly, giving a contemplative hum over the idea. _It's a smart move. Showing that some of those from Skaikru can be trusted with our traditions and ou-_ her thoughts were interrupted by a gentle squeeze of Clarke's arms.

"Shh.. You're thinking too loudly." the blondes words were husky and low. _Sleepy_ , she thought as she smirked to herself.

"Titus is right," she whispered, knowing Clarke would be able to hear if she was still awake enough to do so, "it is something I would have wanted. If I had thought about it first." she grinned tiredly.

Before she succumbed to sleep, she felt Clarke press a kiss against her temple, murmuring against her skin with a the barest of smiles, " _Reshop, Leksa._ "

In Clarke's arms, Lexa _always_ slept soundly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations! Those in ( ) are educated guesses, but should be close enough. No one said I was perfect.
> 
> Sei chit ste ona yu hod daun, ai na sen yu in fig raun hodnes - say what is on your (mind), I can hear you (think) love.
> 
> reshop, Leksa - good night Lexa
> 
> Feeeeeeeeed me your kudos and comments and I'll heart you long time!


	4. Know your ambassadors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *2am eyeball twitch at screen* So apparently penguins and coffee don't mix. I blame my jittery flippers for all typos. Also know that I'm fudging the timeline of events a bit because [reasons]. It is a canon divergent, so I'm allowed.... Right?
> 
> POP QUIZ: Was watching a certain movie that acted as inspiration for the book that Lexa reads in this chapter. Can you name it? (shout out to those that do!)
> 
> Have at my lovelies!

When Lexa woke that morning it was painfully obvious (as well as pointed out by Clarke) that she would not be able to do a repeat of yesterday. Her body simply refused to even think about attempting any form of physical activity, no matter how simple it was. Even the trip to her wardrobe seemed too much. And with her chest still reeling from the day prior she decided against wearing anything heavy, choosing instead something that was more of a simple half-sleeved gown of flowing black fabrics that sat comfortably about her shoulders yet still hid her bandages from view. (The outfit may raise a few eyebrows among her dignitaries, but seeing Clarke blush makes it worth it)

On a normal day she'd head down to the lower floors to attend breakfast with either a figure of importance or eat in solitude before joining the nightbloods in their morning rituals. Feeling as she did however, Lexa made arrangements for everything to be brought to her in her chambers instead, including the nightbloods.

" _Why! Edmund had shouted, keeping his blade level with Fernand. The wounded man held Edmunds accusing gaze defiantly for a long breath, then slowly, sliding against the wall, Fernand began to stand with malice growing in his features before speaking in kind._ "

The young nightbloods cluttered the floor space in front of the couch as they sat with rapt attention, some with their knees pressed to their chest, eyes wide, and jaws slack with wonder. The sight made Lexa smile openly as she read to them one of her favorite books: a tale filled with fundamental elements such as justice, revenge, forgiveness, betrayal, loyalty, and hope. _All adequate traits to know and hold as a Commander_ , she thought when she had chosen the story.

Sitting at one of the adjacent chairs, Clarke was sketching away (undoubtedly capturing the moment on paper) with Aden close to her feet. Lexa chose to look at him as she dramatically continued with the next line, not even trying to hide her smirk at his startled reaction as the story's scene played out.

" _Take your vengeance. But know that the blood you spill is noble. Blood that will never run through your veins._ "

A knock at the door interrupted her story telling, as well as eliciting an audible chorus of disappointed sounds from the nightbloods. She struggled with some success at not laughing out loud at their (adorable) display of disappointment, closing the book within her lap and giving them each an apologetic smile as she bid who ever it was at the door entrance.

When the doors swung open to reveal ambassador Usak of the Broadleaf Clan, she tried not to let her smile falter too much into a frown.

"We'll finish the tale another day. Wanheda," she made sure to use one of Clarke's many titles in the presence of Usak as she looked to the blonde, "will you see them to the training yard?" She was careful not to say please, because _Heda_ does not say please.

She caught one of Clarke's hidden smiles that were meant just for her before the blonde nodded as she stood. "Of course."

Lexa made sure to smile to each of the nightbloods as they rose from the floor to form up single file with Clarke in the lead, each giving their respects to the ambassador as they passed him out the door.

When it was just her and Usak she carefully set her book aside and gestured for the taller man to take up the seat that Clarke had been in. "Ambassador." She made sure her tone was courteous as she greeted him by his title.

"Heda." Usak returned with equal tone, bowing slightly as he addressed her. He did not sit down right away, instead his sharp gaze took in her lax position on the couch, then the gown she chose to wear. A hint of a frown began forming on his features.

She knew that the ambassador was one of the many that liked to remain as strictly to tradition as possible. Therefore she was not surprised in the slightest that he looked at her with some semblance of disapproval for having had to come all the way up to her personal chambers to hold an audience, let alone looking far less intimidating then what the image of _Heda_ demanded. Still, she carefully arched an eyebrow at him as he lingered by the doorway, the small gesture of impatience finally being what made Usak move to take a seat.

"You allow Wanheda, and not master Titus, attend the next line officiates?"

Lexa noted the careful way in which the ambassador spoke. Curious rather then questioning. Still, she inclined her chin towards him with a hint of a smile. It was well known that she adored the young warriors that would one day succeed her, so she didn't ever bother with trying to hide her pride for them.

"When it is convenient, yes." She admitted. Easing the minds of her ambassadors was far easier when it was done one on one, a fact she decided to take advantage of as she continued in a matter-of-fact tone, "Having Wanheda close teaches them not to fear death. As for Titus.. if you have not heard, he has taken an apprentice."

She let her words, and their implications, hang in the air as she carefully watched with a neutral expression as the ambassadors brow knitted tightly, the tattoos on his nose almost making it look as if the man was scowling at her.

"So I've heard. As have the others."

Usak shifted subtly within his seat, looking like there was more he wished to add but was uncertain of possible consequences if he chose to do so.

"And?" Lexa prompted, stretching out the word with an encouraging tilt of her head.

"And there are concerns as to why you would allow it."

Of the majority of her ambassadors and clan delegates, Lexa admired the fact that Usak was one of the few that didn't sweat or back down easily, even when faced against her. But they all had their ticks, their tell tale signs of nerves that she had to learn early on in her role as both Commander and political figurehead. His was his hands, subtly flexing and unflexing as they rested atop the arm rests of the chair.

"I allow it because Titus believes his new apprentice is worthy of the training." She spoke in a crisp clip, knowing that Usak was there for more then just a simple inquiry and hoped that he would move onto the next subject quickly.

"So a thief is found worthy of the robes of a _Fleimkepa?_ "

Now he was questioning and Lexa leveled her gaze at him in a hard warning, but before she could even say anything against his tone he continued, the bite in his words being just as hard as her stare.

"Heda, we've received word that Skaikru has killed the messengers sent to announce the blockade. Are you truly allowing thieves and murderers to your table?"

And there it was.

Usak was now fully frowning at her with steel eyes narrowed slightly. A look she returned with everything that made her _Heda_.

Given how Arkadia reacted when Lexa and her warriors tried collecting the boy Finn, she assumed (correctly) that they would act similarly and thus gave explicit orders not to send any messengers for Pike. But of course her orders were defied by those eager for revenge, and once more those of Skaikru have shed even more grounder blood. Lexa didn't need to hear the ambassadors unspoken question of what she planned on doing about it. She knew _jus drein jus daun_ was what he wanted. What they all wanted.

He wasn't going to like her answer.

"Which clan did the riders belong too?" she needed to narrow down her list of warriors responsible for defying her orders. _Something to deal with later.._

"The two belonged to _Boudalan_." Usak answered quickly, his gaze still narrowed.

 _Rock Line.. of course._ she thought with a mental growl. The one clan who was just as stubborn and bullheaded as the terrain they called home.

"Tell ambassador Karlak that if he so chooses, the family of the riders may be allowed to join Trikru when justice is finally brought to Chancellor Pike."

As predicted, Usak's frown deepened further yet Lexa held up a hand to quell any words the ambassador might have thought to say. As much as her subjects hated it, she was going to fiercely stand by her ruling of blood must not have blood. Tradition be damned.

"Even as Commander, I have no say as to who Titus chooses to have replace him when his time is done. You are welcome to bring the matter up with him, though it is none of your concern. As for Skaikru, not all follow Pike as we've discussed many times, which allows room for those that defy him a place within _my_ Coalition as the thirteenth clan. Now.. Is there anything else you wish to speak of?"

Lexa had to resist the urge to reach for her chest as her lungs had begun burning unpleasantly while raising her voice at Usak, yet she surprised herself when her words held no pain and her tone was full of nothing but the authority of Heda, therefore brooking no argument to hopefully be done with the matter. She was already exhausted of the subject of revenge against Skaikru when the topic would do nothing but circle in arguments within her throne room, and she had no tolerance in bringing it up in her own chambers now.

To his credit, Usak stood slowly and bowed so she made sure to dismiss him with a gentle gesture. When the doors closed Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose to keep from clutching at her chest, the feeling of acid fog in her lungs returning ever so slowly.

So much for trying to take it 'extra easy' (as Clarke had put it). Already she was making a mental list of what needed to be done thanks to Usak. She'd have to make sure to send word to ambassador Karlak of the Rock Line Clan about the two dead messengers, but first she'd have to find out who gave them permission to ride out in the first place and deal with that individual separately. Next might be asking Titus to have a quiet word with each of the delegates about Murphy to help ease their concerns about his choice... 

Lexa let out an audible sigh. She suddenly felt desperate for a nap, and then promptly cursed her condition for making her feel so weak. Looking through her fingers she glanced towards the chair that both Clarke and Usak had sat in, wishing that her sky girl was sitting in it once more giving her some sort of reassuring smile or comment. Instead, her eyes caught sight of Clarke's book, and before she knew it, Lexa had stood from the couch to retrieve it.

Holding the book open between both hands, the charcoal image that Clarke was working on sat atop the pile to greet her. The rough image of her being surrounded by _natblidas_ as she read to them made her heart burst in the best ways possible.

Lexa then thinks she fell in love with her sky girl just a little bit more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the Trigedasleng name for the Rock Line clan is (apparently) Boudalan. If I'm wrong please correct me! All other translations are pretty self explanatory for we are all kom Trashkru and are therefore fluent.. ish... I seriously need sleep.
> 
> This was also just the beginning of the politics, more will come, yyyeeesssss.. *rubs flippers together like a Disney villain*
> 
> Feed me your kudos and comments!


End file.
